Category Archives: Rant

The Consequences of Bad Behavior

Ian and I have banned two children from our house. It may just be a temporary banning if they can prove that they know how to act in public and when they are guests, but if they continue to behave as they did on Sunday, they will not be allowed back.

One of them – I called him Trevor in my birthday party lesson – was a mini-misogynist on top of being extra loud and somewhat defiant. Now I understand being excited because you’re at a party and was totally willing to make allowances for that, but this went beyond that. He spent a great deal of time walking around point at or framing his crotch, cupping imaginary breasts, and talking about bottoms. He did this in front of all the other guests – two of whom were female – as well as Ian and the two little guys. I saw a bit of it, but I mostly heard about it second hand from Ian who eventually told him that it wasn’t cool or funny.

This didn’t stop him from making disgusting comments, tough. While they were eating, he went on an on about stealing all the poop from the toilets. I can understand how this can be funny to a group of 8-10 year olds…the first time. Unfortunately, he just wouldn’t let it die. Another time, he yelled at everyone to “Shut up” essentially because he wasn’t getting any attention. The worst (in my books) though, was after we handed out the treat bags. They all got a cap gun because spies need a gun. There was only one green one and Liam requested it the day before. Once the bags were all handed out, Trevor kept going on and on about how he wanted the green one. When I wouldn’t give him what he wanted, he took it…twice (I caught him the first time and made him give it back). The second time, he went so far as to wait until Liam had put it down and then tied it in his bag. I was not amused. Aiden even mentioned in the morning that he thinks that Trevor took the green gun.

The second little guy I referred to as Sam. Sam showed up with a broken nose. His mother asked me to make sure that he wasn’t around any rough elbows or anything else that could re-break his nose. I assured her that we’d make sure he was careful. When she was out of sight, he started moving and I swear he didn’t stop until I yelled at him to sit down after he almost knocked me over (this was near the end of the party). We caught him snooping in Ian’s office and in Liam’s bedroom. He had a habit of being in the opposite part of the house from the rest of the kids: if they were in Aiden’s room, he was in the dining room and if they came upstairs, he tried sneaking around downstairs.

Sam ran circles at top speed around the wall dividing the kitchen and living room and didn’t care who he bumped into…he also didn’t apologize. He ignored us when we asked him to stop. He didn’t listen to instructions (and consequently shot his grandmother during training…you don’t fire as soon as you turn the corner) and pushed his way to the front when they lined up to try not to trip the laser beam (streamer) alarm hallway – he also does not understand the meaning of one at a time.

Apparently, he jumped on Aiden’s bed as soon as he got in there. He mucked with Aiden’s Darth Vader bobble head and wound up ruining it. He opened the map of the Enterprise which had been given it Ian by the guy who designed it (that had been hiding in a closet). Over all, he respected nothing and no one.

Then there was the incident where he pushed me out of his way while I was holding Callan. I nearly fell over and he didn’t even have the decency to apologize. As it was, there was no need for him to go in that direction. The rest of the kids had come upstairs and turned left into the living room. He decided to go for another lap around the wall. I yelled. I yelled at some other mother’s son and I do not at all feel sorry for it. Granted, I should have just sent him home when he proved that he couldn’t behave, I didn’t want to do that to Aiden.

Those two are also the reason that the entire group didn’t get the invisible ink from the treat  bags. We figured if they were that horrible at listening to instructions then they’d probably burn their parents’ houses down trying to make a message appear.

When the dust had settled, Ian and I quickly came to the conclusion that neither of the two boys should be allowed back in our house until they settle down and can behave in modern polite society. We won’t, however tell Aiden that he can’t play with or be friends with them. That would only lead to defiance.

I broke the news to Aiden at breakfast and he seemed understanding. He was rather upset that Sam had broken one or two of his toys as it was. I imagine having his parents say that Sam is not allowed back saves him from the embarrassment of – at some point – having to say that he doesn’t want Sam to come back. When it comes to Trevor, Aiden said that he, “kept talking about yucky stuff,” and he didn’t like that.

It ended up being the perfect lead-in to how we expect the boys to behave when they’re in someone’s house as guests. It all boils down to, “better than you would at home.” I also laid out the consequences for him should he ever behave like Sam and Trevor did: he won’t be allowed to visit anyone until he proves to us that he knows how to behave.

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Filed under Kid Training, Rant, Stepping Up

24/365 – I Need a Break

Just once I’d like Ian to be the one to get Aiden out the door for school (on time) all the while trying to keep the other two boys in bed so he can get some more sleep because the little ones wouldn’t go to bed until early in the morning. On that day, I’d send him a text message 10 minutes before his alarm goes off and continue to send them until his alarm does go off. Maybe, just maybe, the baby will be up before Aiden is out the door so he’ll have to stay up anyway. And on that day, Liam will be a sick, clingy, cranky-pants who will want his father to do nothing AND everything all at the same time and will probably yell about everything while refusing to nap or eat. Then I will come home after dinner has been served, gobble it down and run away to another room all the while complaining about how I need to unwind – keep the kids away – because it was such a stressful day. I may or may not help to get the kids ready for bed and then, when he’s completely exhausted, I’ll tell him that I have to go to bed because I have to get up in the morning and he can handle the two kids that are still awake because they’re “almost asleep” anyway.

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Filed under General, Rant